Dec. 16: Kevin Durant's Inevitability ends the Phighting Sixers + FREE Archive
We're glad to announce the COMEBACK of the B U R G E R B A L L crib after the masses CLAMORED for it and we're going to do it on a DAILY Abasis
When you let KD cook, he does. When you don't, he does anyways. That's basically what happened yesterday, as Durant and the depleted Nets put on a winning effort with KD probably having the best line of the night in his 39 bulky minutes of playing time. Only Seth Curry, playing for the squad sitting at the other end of the court, logged as many minutes on Thursday's slate of games.
Durant put up a 34-11-8 to go with a swat, a fantastic 54.2% shooting, and a perfect 6-for-6 from the line was all Brooklyn needed to Phinish Philadelphia. No Harden? No problem. BKN didn't even need huge games from The Champ Chumps in a night that saw the Washed Mob play to their greatest levels as Blake Griffin put up a near-dub-dub (17-9-2) and Patty Mills dumped 14 pops and 4 treys (with 5 boards and 3 dimes, too) on Philly starting at the point.
If you could cop Durant as if he was a garment, you’d do so with your eyes closed and your eyelashes hyper-extended to looping levels and he’ll insta-boost your confidence and have you dripping and dropping slapping freestyles because that is how KD operates: Killing Dumbf*cks, Knoting Doof*s, Knighting D*pemen.
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Shout out Joel Embiid who put on a 33-minute show even in defeat. JoJo brought the Sauce and dropped 32 pops to go with 9 rebounds and 6 dimes on the day, and even committed a theft! The charity stripe closed the day full of Embiid as he visited it 11 times finding pay dirt 9 of those times. Slate-leading usage rate at a rather high 36.3%.
Caris LeVert out there balling for Indiana and raising his value in order to help the soon-to-be-rebuilding Pacers. CLV based his good performance on scoring as he lit the Pistons for 31 points shooting 66.7% from the field on a healthy 18 FGA... though scored no long rangers on the day. At least he got to pack the stat line with a 3-5-2-1 protein supplement.
Good night for rooks around the Association. Cunningham kept his game up with a strong 19-6-4-1-2 all-across-the-board contribution while old-but-gold Chris Duarte was this close to dub-dubbing after reaching 15 pops but only 9 rebounds in just 29 minutes of playing time; he made up for that with 4 dimes, tho.
Very tasty reclamation dishes served by the chefs of the NBA on a random Thursday. Daniel Theis and Saddiq Bey excelled for Houston and Detroit with a couple of double-doubles of 22-10 and 28-10 (both shot above 54%, hit 4+ freebies, and either added 5 dimes — Bey — or a 1-1-2 — Theis).
The Knicks have lost their north, and it showed yesterday as three of their best performers came off the pine and one of them you had never heard of before: Miles McBride. MMcB with the ridiculous 15-3-9-4 line playing 36 minutes is something we might never see again, so there's that. Immanuel Quickley dumped 7 treys on Houston's foreheads for a total of 24 points, and Mithcell Robinson did more than catching lobs with a 17-9 and 3 swats.
Myles Turner is far from an under-the-radar player these days, I know, and this block of blurbs is reserved for that type of player... but Turner kept building his case to get the hell out of the cornfield before the deadline with a sound 16-7-1... and 4 blocks for Indy. Flex on them, Young T.
Sabonis, on the other hand, meh. Good-not-great 12-9-6 on super-low volume shooting attempting just 9 FGA in 31 minutes. I guess the Pistons don't really inspire monster performances no matter who you are.
Andre Drummond is a man of two shades. He either puts up the 20-20 or just hits the floor face-first. Too bad for the Philly Phans they got to experience the latter version against the BKN: 4 points, 6 rebounds, and somehow a day-saving 2 dimes and 3 steals. Also, 2-for-2 from the field! Yesss!
New health and safety protocols around the Association to keep shit tight as COVID is rampant again these days... The Lakers are suffering that type of crap heavily as they've been forced to throw all of THT, Dwight, Bradley, Monk, and Russ into the H&S protocols bin and they could very well be missing the Xmas game... Alec Burks leaving, then coming back to the Knicks bench... DRose on the other hand could never return after leaving the court yesterday with a sore right ankle... No Klay Thompson until Dec. 28 at the very least as Golden State has ruled out a Christmas Time comeback.
What are we DOING here?
If you don’t have a clue what you’re reading, fear nothing and everything. Yrs truly woke up to bad news this very morning. The shores didn’t bring crystal-clear water today, the burgers lacked mayo, the hoops weren’t bouncy, so WE GOT TO PACK OUR SHIT AND KEEP IT SPICY BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT WE DO H*RE 🎒🎒🎒
In other words, I’m stopping pumping content out over RB, and instead, I will be dropping daily drip and joints and jawns over here at B U R G E R B A L L of all places. This is not going to be a once-every-two-month thing. No m*sses allowed these days 🚫 That’s why we’re going public today so you know about it and we’re getting mollypaywalled starting tomorrow for those who want to enjoy the Full $picy & $aucy Dose.
Here’s a quick bulleted list of what we’ll be doing in the B*B*H*Q
Daily recaps of everything-NBA. That means every day. In other words that means every 24 hours — give or take because I’m human — you’ll hear from the BBNLIM💪 (aka Burger Ball News Letter Intern Mob 💪) and have a new fresh and $picy and $aucy email delivered to you by one of our interns.
That means we’ll be covering the Association and its players, its teams, its owners, its fans, its highlights, its tweets, its *ll-d*y-everyth*ng.
I will offer trips to the inner parts of my m*nd too here and there. Can’t promise to drop categorical knowledge on a daily basis, let alone give you any sort of plan because I don’t have any idea what will pop tomorrow or next Thursday. Such is my brain and such are the connectors in it. Reckless synaps*s right inside the soft muscle.
We will be dropping very COPPABLE sh*t. You can already get a preview and grab some stuff leading up to Santa’s Arrival 💰 For some reason the store is seemingly always on sale which 1) bugs me 2) helps you 3) makes no sense but 4) it’s what it is so take ADVANTAGE of it.
I spend half of the day preparing and keeping my information freshest than neon lett*ce so my words slap when I drop them at different places. The other half I spend sleeping or reading interesting, weird, not-basketball-related stuff so I can get smarter. What I mean is I will be sharing some of that deep knowledge with the *** $picy & $aucy Intelligentsia ***. Get ready, it’s coming.
More sh*t we’re forgetting at this moment. We’ll M*S D*F come with the surprising goodies, though
I can’t promise this will last forever but between doing n*thing and doing s*mething I guess I’m a junkie of working. So here I am. Yrs truly.
ANNO DOMINI Recap Entries — Fr** Archive
I couldn’t for the love of our L*RD figure out a way to back-date-post the stuff I have been doing during the first couple of months of Association Ball here on this very tasty Substack newsletter, but you know we deeply care about our readers here so we have taken the proper time to curate a list of sav*ry burger recaps that have been published elsewhere.
Yr deeply care about commotions, though, so don’t go reading this stuff in one sitting if you don’t want to suffer a greasy embol*sm.
Oct. 19 Saucy Recap
Oct. 20 Saucy Recap
Oct. 21 Saucy Recap
Oct. 22 Saucy Recap
Oct. 23 Saucy Recap
Oct. 24 Saucy Recap
Oct. 25 Saucy Recap
Oct. 26 Saucy Recap
Oct. 27 Saucy Recap
Oct. 28 Saucy Recap
Oct. 29 Saucy Recap
Oct. 30 Saucy Recap
Oct. 31 Saucy Recap
Nov. 01 Saucy Recap
Nov. 02 Saucy Recap
Nov. 03 Saucy Recap
Nov. 04 Saucy Recap
Nov. 05 Saucy Recap
Nov. 06 Saucy Recap
Nov. 07 Saucy Recap
Nov. 08 Saucy Recap
Nov. 09 Saucy Recap
Nov. 10 Saucy Recap
Nov. 11 Saucy Recap
Nov. 12 Saucy Recap
Nov. 13 Saucy Recap
Nov. 14 Saucy Recap
Nov. 15 Saucy Recap
Nov. 16 Saucy Recap
Nov. 17 Saucy Recap
Nov. 18 Saucy Recap
Nov. 19 Saucy Recap
Nov. 20 Saucy Recap
Nov. 21 Saucy Recap
Nov. 22 Saucy Recap
Nov. 23 Saucy Recap
Nov. 24 Saucy Recap
Nov. 26 Saucy Recap
Nov. 27 Saucy Recap
Nov. 28 Saucy Recap
Nov. 29 Saucy Recap
Nov. 30 Saucy Recap
Dec. 01 Saucy Recap
Dec. 02 Saucy Recap
Dec. 03 Saucy Recap
Dec. 04 Saucy Recap
Dec. 05 Saucy Recap
Dec. 06 Saucy Recap
Dec. 07 Saucy Recap
Dec. 08 Saucy Recap
Dec. 09 Saucy Recap
Dec. 10 Saucy Recap
Dec. 11 Saucy Recap
Dec. 12 Saucy Recap
Dec. 13 Saucy Recap
Dec. 14 Saucy Recap
Dec. 15 Saucy Recap
Don’t di*, pls and thk u.
♻️ You can always reach me HERE if you dig Twitter b*rds 🐦
